Each Child Is Different

Pam reminded me that each child is different and I totally agree with her. I have 3 children with 3 different characteristics and personalities. Bringing them up and grooming them is really not an easy task. The same approach just doesn't work for each one of them. It's really NOT like passing down clothes from the eldest to the youngest. It's much more!

That's a great challenge, isn't it?

Children are fun when they are nice and they are a headache when they are naughty. I remembered when I first became a mother, I knew nothing about parenting. I had to follow other people's advice on how to take care of a baby and how to teach a child. I learned different ways from different people but not all techniques work for me and my child.

Through time, I learned. I learned to analyse my children's personality, I learn to adapt and to change my approach to suit me and my children.

Karl is the gentle and timid type. When he was a baby, he'd jump at every sound. Now that he has grown into a 6 year old boy, he's still a cry baby but he's not shy anymore. With him, I had to be extra gentle. I praise Karl a lot and say things like "you can do it!", "I believe in you!" or "Karl is clever, I am sure you can think of a way." to encourage him to be more confident.

Wayne is bold, playful and very active. Sometimes, he can be very stubborn and demanding too. He loves me very much and yearns for my love. So, when he is up to mischieve, I would say: "I love the good Wayne but not the naughty Wayne. Where's my good boy Wayne?" He would say: "Here!" and he would calm down and hug me. He's afraid that I don't love him and would always be the good Wayne instead of the naughty Wayne.

Nyn is very understanding and sweet. When I am busy and she has to be with my maid, she would understand and will not disturb me. When she sees her father sleeping, she would say "shh" asking everyone to keep quiet. With my little honey angel, I don't have to yell. All I need to do is to explain.

Parenting is not easy and it is definitely not a one shoe fits all task. Be CREATIVE in your approach and change it when necessary to fit you and your child. Afterall, you are your children's parents and YOU know them best.

Nice?

No, it's NOT my work. It's my 6 year old son, Karl's work (20% helped by me). His first 2 digital scrapbook! I didn't believe it at first but since he saw me scrapbooking (my new interest) and asked me to teach him. So, I did.

Karl's first scrapbook. Created on 22 October 2007

Karl's second scrapbook. Created on 23 October 2007

I am so proud of you, Karl.

Since he likes scrapbooking, I took the opportunity to encourage him to do this instead of playing computer games. Although he will stop playing computer games whenever I ask him to, I am just worried that it will cloud his mind til he forgets everything else.

Me: Karl, you are so smart. You can do scrapbook now. See, this is better than your games, right?

Karl: Yes, mummy. Can we do this again tomorrow? (Feeling very proud of himself)

Let's hope this interest of his can grow into something great one day.

Dear mummies, I am going to let Karl see all the comments. Do forward all your comments to my boy. Thank you very much.

Three Of Each Or One For All

Having three kids is really not easy. The problem begins when they actually pop out from your stomach. From that moment, you are responsible for their needs - physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.


When it comes to purchasing things for my children, I tend to ask myself: "Should I buy three of each so that my children will not fight over it or should I just buy one and let them share?" Most of the time, I would just go for option 1, just to prevent quarrels and fights and to make all of them happy.


Recently, it came across my mind that what I am practising may not be right. My children will never learn how to share if they each have one. So, one day, when we were in a pet shop, my kids requested for a tortoise each. Initially, I thought of buying three but eventually, I bought them just one tortoise. I told them that they have to learn how to share and how to love the pet.

It's really difficult at first. The kids fought over the "name" for the tortoise. Each one of them had a name for the tortoise and nobody wanted to give in. So, I told them that they could just call the tortoise whatever name that they like and the tortoise would have three names. Then, they fought over who should feed the tortoise. So, I told them that they should take turns feeding the tortoise. The kids begin to take turns doing their duty everyday. The tortoise needs a daily change of water. So, while Karl doesn't like to touch the tortoise, Wayne would take the tortoise out from its "house" for me to change the water and Nyn would put the tortoise in again. It's really amazing to see how they share their little pet.

Being a mother to three active children, I have to be very careful and fair in loving my children. From my observation, I tend to see parents asking their elder children to give in to the youngest so as not to make the youngest cry. The consequences of this action will bring about a spoilt and demanding child. To me, I hope all my children can share and play together, love each other and help each other. Whenever they fight or quarrel over some toys, I would remove that toy and only return the toy when they compromise and promise to play together as a team.