I remembered reading one of Kellan’s posts and it kept me thinking about me and my husband. If you have been reading my posts frequently since I started blogging, you should know that I am very much into positive parenting since last year and my aim is to become my children’s best friend. For my new friends, you may want to click the link to read my previous posts.
I have been trying and trying with many types of approaches and I have been cracking my head to be creative to give my children some surprises while instilling some positive values into them. Along the way, I find explanation not very effective as too lengthy an explanation becomes a NAG and the children tend not to listen.
You must be thinking that I am a very patient person who does not get angry. Hey, I wish I could be that perfect person too but I am not there yet. Sometimes when I am stressful, I do get angry and I do show my temper. My children are not that obedient yet especially my middle child but I belief that love will never fail and with as much patience as possible, my children will grow up to be useful and good beings.
While I am working hard towards positive parenting, my husband chooses to scold and yell at the kids. To him, kids should be afraid of either one of the parents. When he raises his voice, his voice gets really loud and that scares the children. Off course, he doesn’t have bad intention. I have tried talking to him. He knows that scolding doesn’t work but he thinks that the soft approach doesn’t work all the time either.
One day, while I was not around in the house, he scolded the two boys for throwing tantrum. My eldest son, Karl, wrote a note to his daddy and that note actually made my husband realize that his approach was a little too harsh on the kids. He had a heart to heart talk with the boys and they had a mutual agreement. When I returned, he told me happily that his relationship with the boys has improved.
So, what’s in that note? Here it is:
My darling Karl had remembered what I told him: “When mummy is too angry, give me a hug and ask me to control my temper.” He has put that down in words and used it on daddy! There’s one for me too.
So, what to do if both parents use different approaches? The experts say it’s not good but in reality, what do you think?