I sat him on my lap and read him this letter. He cried, I cried too.
Dearest Karl,
Do you know that mummy loves you very much?
You may think that I don’t love you when I refused to sleep with you every night. The other day when we went back to grandpa and grandma’s house, you told grandpa that you wanted him to sleep with you every night. Karl, the reason why mummy refuse is that mummy wants to train you to be more independent. You are now seven and you have grown to be a big boy. Many boys and girls younger than you are sleeping in their own rooms without daddy and mummy but you are still here, sleeping in our room. I don’t want to compare you with others. I let you sleep in our room but can you at least lie down yourself, without having mummy to lie down beside you? I know how you feel when you see mummy pats Nyn to sleep. Karl, she is still young and when you were three, I did the same thing to you too.
You may think that I don’t love you when I say “No”.Do you know that you will not be happy if you are too attached to your "wants"? Try to understand that mummy says “No” to things that are too dangerous or not good for you or to things that might hurt you.
You may think that I don’t love you when I told you that I won’t say a single word of reminder as to what you should do everyday. Mummy has grown very tired and frustrated repeating the words over and over again, only to get an “OK” with that tone which tells me that I talk too much. You are old enough to know what to do everyday. It’s a routine.
Sometimes when I am not calm enough, I would scold when you misbehave but when I am calm enough, I can be very gentle and patient. I’m just a human, Karl. I know you don’t like to see a fierce mummy. I don’t like it too. Can we just be loving and kind to everyone? I wish our home will be filled with love and peacefulness. Can we all try, Karl?
Mummy wants you to remember this, Karl:
Whatever daddy or mummy do, we do out of love. You may not like what we say, but can you at least be grateful that you have a father and mother whose intentions are good?
We love you, darling Karl. Be strong, be tough and be good, will you? Love your brother and sister and be grateful for what you have. We love you very much.
14 comments:
don't feel sad..he sure can understand your love..maybe he just a bit manja
Jo-an
maybe he is abit jelous with his other sliblings and somemore he stay with u mum when he was a baby..so he will a bit more manja..someone tell me than the 1st kids will always like that just like my JJ..a bit manja when he saw Jh together with me ... so be more patien.. he will understand u one day.
audrey
Hv not thot that writing letters to children oso works to send the msg across. I'm sure he'll u'std ur actions r all meant for his well-being.
Hi Jo-n, when Karl grows up..he loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother...the longest.
His mom a never ending song in his heat of comfort, happiness and being. He may sometimes forget the words, but he will always remember the tune.
You have a great day, and keep well, Lee.
*hugggsss*
your post remind me of times when I cry with Clay as well..:-((
*hugs Karl* I am really sure you are loved...very much loved...
What a beautiful letter to your son!
A very touching letter.
My JS also the same , still wants me to sleep with her. Now WH's also like that. He was ok to sleep by himself on the mattress on the floor in our room for a while, but lately he wants me to lie down with him too. Maybe he feels insecure when the two sister is sharing the bed with me. Sometimes I wonder if I'm the only mum having this experience, looks like I'm not alone.
A very touching and beautiful letter to Karl.Don't worry too much, they will all know that our loves and cares are the best!
that's a vy touching letter. i'm sure he will understand when he grows older
aiyoh, so touching la. hope nothing serious happened b4..
he will understand u eventually. he is 7 and old enuff to be independent but he is still a child in a way. he has to share and dont forget he is the eldest and was the only one b4 u hd the other two younger ones. perhaps a quick or few pats to him at nite?
i long ago realised that boys tend to 'stay away' from their parents when they reach around 15 or 16yrs old. or shd i say that when they hv reached puberty and knows lots of things, their thinking change too? aiyah, boys will slowly detached from us and i wont say all boys will though.
i started letting ian coming back to sleep in our room when hubby is out at night and during the weekdays and will bring him back to his rm n to the loo when hubby returns and on weekends he gets to sleep in our room too.thats because i want to enjoy his childhood while i can.
ooh JO....that's very touching! while karl maybe a little upset over d attention that he needed to share with his younger bro & sis, he actually acted very matured & calm...by listening thru such an in-depth & meaningful words fr d bottom of his mumy's heart!!
am sure he digested yr words well...
i doubt if my boys would ever let me finish d sentences bf they hop away....
that's why i always find yr kids very stable, mature & 'kuai'!!
Hi Jo-an,
Don't worry he is a good boy but he only want attention from parents. I have same experience too my daughter 6 years old still wanted me to hug her like i'm hug her brother. They want us to show we love them all the time. Anyway good train & well done!...NC
touching letter for karl...
hmmm.... one day karl will understand ...
Jo-N,
I'm just catching up with your posts that I didn't manage to read earlier... and having read the more recent post first of how Karl came and "sayang" you, and helped you get the freeze-pack cold, etc... your boy is growing up! =)
See how thoughtful, and sensible he is! I'm sure he'll be OK in no time sleeping by himself. And he knows, too, how very very much you love him =)
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