In Malaysia, many people have maids. Every time when I go shopping or dining, I would see families with a maid tagging along. Last Saturday, during our weekly playgroup session, we discussed this issue and we were wondering how people from the other side of the globe (western countries) can afford to live without a maid.
For me, I desperately need a maid but my husband often reminds me that there are many people out there who have five children and do not even have a maid. I have to agree with him but I just can’t do without one. I leave all the house chores to my maid. She takes care of the laundry, the dishes, the cleanliness of the entire house and the food (preparing vegetables and meat before I cook them). As for me, I take care of my work and my children.
It seems that I only take care of two things but they take up a lot of my time and energy. My work is flexible but the workload is there. My children are difficult to handle especially when they are the bodily kinesthetic type. Children don’t only eat and sleep. They need to learn, they need to play, they need bonding and they need to be loved. Educating children doesn’t only mean seeing to their studies or academic. It means grooming them into useful people who have good characteristics, behavior and EQ. That’s the most difficult part of parenting, I guess.
Now, with my eldest son in primary one and the younger two in pre-school, I find it difficult to breathe. With the new schedule, I only have two to three hours for myself to write and to visit blogs. (Sorry for not visiting your blogs so frequently. I am struggling here to even write a post a day. For those who visit my blog frequently, I truly appreciate the kind act and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.) How do I feel? Although I would love to have more time to myself, to update my blogs and to visit all your blogs, I still feel good that I spend time with my children. The special bonding between us can never be replaced by anything!
Back to maids, many argued that having maids mean spoiling our children. The maid would do everything and the children would take for granted that they do not need to help in the house. I am aware of this and I make sure that my children don’t push everything to the maid.
These are the things my children need to do at home despite having a maid:
1) Bring in bag from the car when they return from school, take out water tumbler and lunch box from the bag.
2) Take their plates, fork and spoon from the kitchen before each meal.
3) Bring their plates, fork and spoon to the sink after each meal.
4) Keep the toys.
5) Wipe the table (Karl, my eldest son would do it)
6) Wash school shoes (Karl)
7) Sweep and mop during weekends (Karl)
8) Fold clothes (Sometimes, they would help the maid)
I want my children to have the responsibility of being part of the family and I really hope they understand why I train them this way. I often tell them that all of us live in this house and each and everyone of us have the duty to take good care of our house and to make it a happy home to live in. One day, they would understand.
Do you have a maid at home? If you have one, do you ask your children to participate in house work? If you don’t have one, how do you cope? Do share with me.
36 comments:
i used to have a maid, once a week. i felt like i was spending so much time straightening up the house, before her arrival...and, cleaning up after her...when she left that, i fired her. i haven't replaced her yet, either. i'm one of those moms that have 5 kids and NO help!! and...i'm drowning in housework...because, i push it off so i can spend time with my youngest son...the older 4 are in elementary school and middle school. i think it is so important, especially for the mom, to have help! and...i think i'm going to be starting a search for a new maid...even if it is just every other week!! HELP!!!
take care. hope you get adjusted to your new schedule!!
xo
I have a maid here, but not the live-in kind. My maid does my laundry, and ironing (which I hate), and general house keeping.. No cooking, no massage, nothing weird.. Been with me now for maybe over 10 years? Lost count..
I don't have a maid - I have had a cleaning service off and on over the years, but not right now. I am all for having a maid take care of the house - especially when you have lots of children and work - it is just too difficult to keep up with it all and if you can afford to have a maid help out - then it is the right thing to do. I wish it were easier and more afforadable for families here in the US to actually have a maid - it gets costly. I enjoyed hearing about how you handle your household - it sounds like you have it all under control and your children are leaning good values. Take care - Kellan
I don't have a maid. Most people in Canada don't have one. How do I do it without a maid, I don't know...I just do. My hubby and teenager helps when they can.
As for voting in the Bloggers Choice Awards, you can vote for as many different blogs in the same category as you want.
My blog is still using the blogger template and I'm getting blogger to redirect my old url to my new one in case anyone uses my old url.
I'm heading over to Cre8Buzz now to friend you.
:o) Tammy
Though I have a maid, I still ask my kids to pick up their own toys. I still do some of the house work myself coz I know there's just too much to be done by the poor maid alone. With my new temp maid, I'm doing even more myself coz she's so slow but hardworking.
First time here ... nice blog.
I do nto have a full time maid BUT has one that has one that comes in twice a week to do ironing and cleaning of the house. That's all.
:)
i don't have a maid...yet. Guess I can still cope with 1 kid. If I have more, it's a different story. It's good to get your children to do their own duties eventhough there is a maid around.
Before,I had a part time maid who only help out the basic house chores.Besides I don't really like to have a house maid that I have to worry her all the time.Sometimes I am frustrating too cuz the housechores is like never ending job.kids participate in some house chores is a great idea.I can say that my kids are abit independent cuz i ask them to help me most of the time.:P
my hubby also often says how lucky am I to have a maid and keep reminding me how my grandmother copes without a maid with 13 kids and how my mum did it without a maid. I guess it's different compare to before, kids now are smarter and they need a lot of attention.
Like you, my maid is mainly doing housework and caring for the kids is still under "My department" and I also get them to pick up toys, keep their books, put the plates in the kitchen after meal and other simple chores.
Hi Jon. I can so relate to your post right now.
Our maid and nanny recently left to go home to their provinces and for the last month, I've had no maid. I'm very lucky in that my house is next door to my parents and their maid helps in the laundry. I work full time so there is no time for me to do the housework during the week.
My weekends are now full with housecleaning and caring for the kids plus helping with homework and the occasional trips out of the house.
I also don't know how people who live in the US and other countries cope without a helper.
Though, when I think about it, if I were a full time housewife, I can do without one. But with work plus the kids, well, there's only so much time I have and I would rather spend it doing just a little housework with lots of time for the kids and the hubby.
Hi Jo-n--don't have a maid (do have house cleaning periodically), and like you, my daughter participates in the family work around the house.
If the work is difficult to keep up with, then it's important to have help. I think it's also important to include our little ones in the family work ethic, but in a positive way.
Thanks Jo-n, for the good thoughts (smile)!
hi ... i m back !! :)
i dun hv maid, but i hv indon to wash my house 2 week once for 4 to 5 hour . i prefer to be this way, more privacy at home. i will slowly train my boy (when he grow up) to participate in the house work, no matters is a boy or girl . at least help on the light house work . i think this is good and they can survive in future when there dun hv parents and maid with them , example stay in Uni ??
But still there's pros and cons to have maid at home too .
Hi, Jo-n. I don't have a maid and I don't need one with just 1 kid.Anyway, I don't like others to clean up my things especially my decorations.I'm very organised and sometimes I beh tahan myself to be so organised. But my SIL(hubby's brother's wife)depends everything on her maid. Her eldest daughter never pick up her homework after doing it, ask the maid to get her drinks and the maid have to bring their schoolbags too.I really don't like to see this.
I have intention to blog about maid's chores in my blog but I am afraid I will be boring..talking about maid almost the whole week! LOL... but I love talking about maid.. hihahaha.. I need friends to talk about maid as well... hahahaha
i thought of that too. how come others can survive without a maid but we asians cannot? asians used to be tough, now everyone is just too lazy to do house chores.
It is not very common here in Canada to have a maid/housekeeper unless maybe if you are very wealthy.
A lot of people have a cleaning service/housekeeper come in once a week though.
With 4 kids (soon to be 5) at home all the time, housework is a huge thing. I find it impossible to keep up with with 5 or 6 of us in the house all the time. You get one mess cleaned up and there is another waiting. I need to spend a great deal of my time educating the kids, that is my first priority. The kids do help out though. The 13 and 10 year olds do dishes and vacuum their rooms and tidy up at the end of the day. Very helpful.
I don't have a maid, but I could dream....I'd love to have one who just washed and folded our laundry, scrubbed the bathroom,...and I would be happy :)
I'm tagging you with a meme. As for Heads or Tails. All you need to do is let Skittles know you want to join , it's a lot of fun, and that referred you. Thanks! Tammy
Everybody,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and you stories with me.
Tammy,
Will head over to your blog soon.
Having a maid is not an issue but whether you are lucky enough to have a good one. I think it is not a bad idea to have extra hands to help around the house and keep an eye on the children. Just that we have to show a good example to treat the maid with respect and like one of our family members, then the children will not boss around. I haven't got a maid but I will have a 'kakak' to come over once in a while to do ironing and cleaning. My kids love her and I'll make sure they treat kakak like any other friends of mine with respect.
Hi Jo-N,
I have visited yr blog occasionally. Nice.
I am a homeschooler with 11 & 6 yrs old boys. My boys helps with chores.
Some of the things we TRY to do:
1.They are rewarded with beanies which is converted to cash when they do their chores with the right attitude & not complain. Read my experience at http://psalmone21.blogspot.com/2008/01/reward-system.html
2. Pay them RM10 per week for chore duties.
3.Take 5-10mins & go round the house to pick up toys, things which have been left by them everyday. Especially before Daddy comes home
4. Make a chore schedule
5. When chores not done, benefits are taken away e.g. computer games, TV
6. Chores for my 11 yrs old boy: vacuum, mop, wash dishes, hang up the clothes (occasionally), boil rice, fold clothes (with Daddy)
7. Chores for my 6 yrs old boy: wash dishes (occassionally), hang up clothes (occasionally), wipe staircase, make his bed and etc.
Its nice in theory but we do lag sometimes... When they get lazy and I feel compassionate, I will fill-in for them. And when I am lazy, they will fill-in for me ;-).
just send ur maid back haha
No maid here but then, in Hong Kong, the apartments are small. So, if I don't work, then I guess it's pretty pointless having a maid, when all the cleaning doesn't take that long to do. SOmetimes, I do pity those maids back home. No holiday, work from morning till night and all sorts of restrictions. Maids here in HK have it much, much better.
We got ourselves a maid jes b4 I gave birth to CE. At 1st, we din want to get a new one after her contract ends in Mac. But life wud be vy difficult w/o some1 helping out ard the hse (we're used to the pampering edi). Yeah... it's true wat u said... must teach the kids not to rely too much on the maid. So I also ask XY to do some of the simple tasks that u mentioned.
Really good of you to train your children to do all those things esp picking up toys despite having a maid.
btw, I hv a simple tag for you.
Wow, so many with maids. There are not many people around me in the U.S. who have maids. I know a few who have someone come in once in a while to do heavy cleaning but they are the exception.
I only have 4 kids in the house now. We have 5, but one is now married. My kids are ages 18, 16, 8 and 7. We homeschool, so we have "messes" being made all the time.
I have never had a maid. We all have chores that we are responsible for as individuals and then we have some chores that we all help each other with.
All my kids do their own laundry now. The two youngest ones do theirs together. They just learned a few months ago, and they take this chore very seriously as it is usually something that "adults" do.
All my kids are responsible for their own bedrooms. They make their beds, clear up their toys, dust, vacuum... whatever needs to be done.
Each one is assigned an individual chore such as: My oldest boy has the bathroom and hallway to keep clean. He is to keep the bathroom tidy during the week and give it a good scrubbing once a week. He vacuums once a week as well.
My next oldest boy has the basement room (it is next to his room) to keep clean and organized. He is to keep it tidy during the week and really clean it once a week.
My 8 year old empties the dishwasher whenever it is done. The 7 year old feeds the pets. They both are responsible for cleaning up all of their books, toys, art supplies -anything they use. This is done throughout the day, when they are finished with them.
I am in charge of my own room and bathroom. My husband is gone 12 hours a day, so he does not have anything specific to do around the house during the week. If he is here and something needs done, he just steps up and takes care of it. He is the fixer of things, so that is always his department!
I am the main kitchen person, but have the kids help as I want/need them. We all help with the main living area. We all use it, we all clean it.
The boys are responsible for taking care of the yard work (which my husband and I help with when there are projects we want to do). They also are responsible for snow removal in the winter.
All my kids are learning to cook. My 8 year old has learned to bake from scratch. She initiated her cooking lessons and now does most of her cooking and baking on her own. Someone is always around to help supervise if needed, but usually she does it all, on her own. We just make sure she doesn't get burned. Our 7 year old is now wanting to cook more, so we are working with her as well.
The older boys are cooking once a week now. They plan the whole meal, prepare the shopping list, prepare the meal and serve it. This way they will know how to cook complete balanced meals when they are on their own. We want them also to be able to be able to cook for their own families one day. If both spouses can cook, then the job is easier for both.
I grew up in a family of 7 children. Sometimes my Mom worked out of the home, sometimes she did not. Either way, we all were expected to help out around the home. We all lived there, it was part of our "ownership" of the home and family. We helped take care of each other as well.
My oldest daughter (the one who is now married) thanked me when she first moved out. She knew how to cook, clean, do laundry, take care of the lawn... She watched others here own age who did not have all these skills and they were struggling. She had her own time management struggles to get through, as it is always different when there is someone else older around who keeps things flowing and we don't realize the skill in that until we are the one who needs to get the flow going smoothly.
I think a maid would be nice at times, especially when new borns arrive. Not ever having one though, I think I had to become more organized, more capable and more adaptable. My children do not feel like they are overworked (well, on chore day they do when they would rather be playing :) ) they understand the importance of working together. They also realize that they eat here, play here, make messes... so they should also work here to keep our home comfortable and tidy. I believe this helps them to become more responsible adults.
Interesting question and post Jo-n
sometimes it's good to have a maid to help us out. but there are many cases that maids are so bad to treat their little owners. I dont have maid though i want, but i worry in the other hands. i have only 1 kid now, with the help of my MIL, so in the meantime i can cope everything in the house.
I wish I had a maid, a cook, and a hair stylist at my disposition! Oh and a driver would be nice too!
Couldn't stand the live in kind!
yes, we relied on a maid too (majorly on house work)...how not to considering we only reach home around 7pm after work!
the only work that i got the boys to do was the toys keeping... if they refused to do, i'll dump them into the dustbin and from then onwards, they dare not not keep their toys, haha
I wish I can have a`maid here in Belgium. It is very expensive to have a maid in this country. When i still lived in Indonesia, my parents always had maids,even some time two or three.
Everybody,
I love your story and appreciate your views here. Thank you so much.
Pam,
Thank you so much for sharing your story of your life with me. Now, I know why and how people without a maid can cope in so many ways. You are indeed a strong woman and a great mom.
i have one part time maid now and soon to be a full time with me when i deliver my baby. i think i really need help with cleaning, the rest i can do but cleaning is sometimes hard and now having a baby i need someone to take care of my baby when i go back to work..i really hate having maid, i value my pirvacy but what to do..i am working..
my maid just completed her 2 years contract, so far we haven't planned to get a new one but try to cope with the days without maid.
the tough time will be at the morning when I try to get my boy reach school on time, can't imagine when he attend primary school next time...
i think it's ok to have one if you can afford it. As to whether the children become spoilt, well it's up to the parents to teach isn't it? I know children who are spoilt rotten eventhough the family has no maid! so it's not one way or the other lar.......
wah! I can see Karl doing lots of housework...sure his wife can shake legs! Just like me...
I don't hv maid so just 1 eye open 1 eye close on the chores!
Hi...how do you do?
I guess I 'm one of so many maid that you Mrs/mr always talking about without end. I'm Indonesian maid. I take care a girl, now she is 10 years old. How often you see the little girl keep tidy up the living room, keep all her stuff by herself before go to playground? She did that. Since 7 years old.. wana know more? find out in The maid's Diary
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