When it comes to purchasing things for my children, I tend to ask myself: "Should I buy three of each so that my children will not fight over it or should I just buy one and let them share?" Most of the time, I would just go for option 1, just to prevent quarrels and fights and to make all of them happy.
Recently, it came across my mind that what I am practising may not be right. My children will never learn how to share if they each have one. So, one day, when we were in a pet shop, my kids requested for a tortoise each. Initially, I thought of buying three but eventually, I bought them just one tortoise. I told them that they have to learn how to share and how to love the pet.
It's really difficult at first. The kids fought over the "name" for the tortoise. Each one of them had a name for the tortoise and nobody wanted to give in. So, I told them that they could just call the tortoise whatever name that they like and the tortoise would have three names. Then, they fought over who should feed the tortoise. So, I told them that they should take turns feeding the tortoise. The kids begin to take turns doing their duty everyday. The tortoise needs a daily change of water. So, while Karl doesn't like to touch the tortoise, Wayne would take the tortoise out from its "house" for me to change the water and Nyn would put the tortoise in again. It's really amazing to see how they share their little pet.
Being a mother to three active children, I have to be very careful and fair in loving my children. From my observation, I tend to see parents asking their elder children to give in to the youngest so as not to make the youngest cry. The consequences of this action will bring about a spoilt and demanding child. To me, I hope all my children can share and play together, love each other and help each other. Whenever they fight or quarrel over some toys, I would remove that toy and only return the toy when they compromise and promise to play together as a team.
16 comments:
Joanne, it is a good start to build their team work spirit. I can see that they are doing great job there.
I thot the tortoise will get a name that's combined from all 3. hahaha That's a vy good approach... to teach them to share things n responsibilities from young.
I can't imagine how life will be when my 3rd bb pops out. I know it's not going to be easy. You're doing a great job there.
LiLi,
They still fight at times. I am still waiting for the day when they can really give and take.
Slavemom,
Haha.. Good idea. Never came across my mind at that time to combine the 3 names.
Shireen,
It's not easy. Lots of patience needed. I still lack patience but I know you will do great.
i think my kids will start fighting next yr. seeing the signs already. anyway, hubby read about getting salmonella from tortoise in the paper before so ensure ur kid really scrub themselves clean after playing with tortoise
I see you also have do-re-mi.
Yours are older though, so I guess I'll be coming to you for tips and tricks. If it comes to food, have to be fair and buy one each, unless it's something big that they can share. Hope the tortoise survives the abundance of attention. Heheheh.
By the way, just added you to my blogroll. Hope you can do the same for me :)
Lian,
Thanks for dropping by.You are so humble. Having older children doesn't mean I have better tips. So, I will add you to my blogroll and I hope we can share more ideas and experience.
Wen,
Thank you so much for informing. I will get more information on Salmonella.
Joanne, u are a fantastic mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hehe great approach. I do agree with u, sometimes i end up buying 2 of the same thing to avoid quarrelling
Chinnee,
Don't say that. I still have lots to learn from you and others too.
Jazzmint,
You have 1 girl and 1 boy and I think it's much easier for them to share compared to 2 boys.
I am having tonnes of headache with only 2 gals… Really admire you that you are a great mom for 3 and a career women + a thoughtful wife toooo! I don’t know about your kids… but mine one I can say 70% of the time they are fighting and quarreling…Xuan will say “Don’t want Wen Wen” and Wen will say “Don’t want Xuan Xuan”. When I carry Wen, Xuan will show her jealousy and vice verse. Have tried many matters telling them sibling must love and help each other. They tend to forget and start fighting. When mood is good they really love and help each other….unfortunately more bad days than good! Sometimes really ‘bo lat’ to keep repeating like a parrot! I will just let them fight as long as they don’t hurt each others… do you all mom out there feel the same-repeating like a parrot?
Kelly,
I repeat a lot too. You have no choice but to repeat and hope that one day, the idea would be implanted into their brain.
My kids still fight a lot too. Now I use another approach. Will write a post on this later. I think Wen Wen is still too young to understand. For her, you should use distraction besides explanation. I think stories help a lot in teaching the kids. Try it, Kelly.
Jo-N,
Haha...at least i'm not alone!
Will try tell stories... but first must get a good story book... plan to visit some book store this raya holiday! Hopefully can get one...
Kelly,
Yup. Try to get one.
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